My name is Andrew Short and I became a true born again Christian on
31st of August 1997, but my story starts long before that. I was born in
1979. I was born disabled because the doctor was called too late. So what
happened was that I was born with brain damage. This means that I have
an interesting life. Because of my brain damage I have a need to find
fulfilment in my life, because of the fact that I work harder for things I need
to enjoy them more.
I have had to learn how to deal with bullying all my life, and so the hatred
started to build up over years and the hurt of "normal" people who could
not accept disabled people. It is not easy to be an "outcast" but the
advantages are there. You learn how to deal with suffering, which in turn
can make you stronger.
Our story opens at one such case. It is a Monday in July 1996 it's a nice
day in Rooty Hill in the western part of Sydney. I was coming back to my
Grandmother's house after a nice day out, and took a short cut through a
school playground - this is in the holidays. I started to notice some boys
with some bikes.
I thought nothing of it at that time and kept walking, thinking they are just
messing around with themselves. One called out, "excuse me are you
spastic". They followed me as I ran out of the playground. After riding after
me a bit they turned back into the playground. That was the end of that or
was it?
This made me feel very upset and angry - what did I ever do to them? I
was upset because they had a go at me for no good reason. I could not
handle it.
But the way I dealt with this is the real problem. I demanded that God take
away the pain. I kept playing it back in my mind, and changing the ending,
thinking about how I wanted to get revenge. I was out of my mind. I
wanted hate. I wanted revenge. I hated them. I wanted them to burn in Hell
forever. Of course, I was out of my mind. For the next year I kept on with
the Devil's rubbish while asking God to take it away. I would hurt others,
ask God to forgive me - but I would not forgive others. When some one
hurt me, I would start some poor little boy story. My friend Karl kept telling
me to forgive them. I became a Christian the day I did. Forgiving is the only
way to get over pain.
FORGIVE WHY SHOULD I?
This was why I didn't become a Christian earlier. People say I did nothing
wrong so why should I forgive? Forgiving means that you don't hate them
and that you don't keep feeling bad about it. So by forgiving these boys I
don't hate them or want them to suffer in return for what happened. So let's
see why we must forgive.
Jesus won't forgive us if we don't forgive others (Matthew 18:23-35).
Some might say, 'but that means that you only must forgive people who
are,' however this is untrue. Luke 23:34 Tells us that Jesus forgave the
people who killed him before waiting for them to say sorry.
REVENGE IS A USELESS SIN
First we need to make sure that the difference between revenge and
punishment is clear.
Revenge is what you do and punishment is from the authority. Revenge is
taking the law into your own hands. Punishment takes everything into
account but you won't take everything into account if you take revenge.
Punishment is less likely to it get out of control.
If you take revenge you won't want to be fair, you will want to ensure that
you cause them greater harm then what they cause you.
But the biggest problem is that revenge is a cycle that sometimes never
stops.
It hurts you more than it's hurt them, because you're in the wrong and you
also need to be punished. We read in Romans 12 that being nice to them is
the best way to deal with them. We need to follow the example of Jesus. If
they hurt you and you then hurt them you're doing what they did, which
means that you are no better. Revenge is for God to do.
WHY HATE CAN'T HEAL YOU
Hate hurts you more than the people you hate. They often don't know you
hate them. If they do they often don't care. Hate is a negative feeling,
therefore it won't help to hate people.
We often fall into this trap of thinking that not forgiving is like a security
blanket. If you don't forgive them they can't hurt you again because you are
in control by thinking that you are better. This couldn't be more false. This is
the view I had. I felt like I was better than those boys, but I wasn't. You
need to let go of these feelings in order to be free again. You see, we need
to see them through the eyes of Christ, that is what forgiveness is.
End note: Looking back in Jan 2001 - I am not sure if I was or was not a
Christian before August 1997.
Last Updated - 20/09/2003
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